Here I am again.
Today is a pretty sad day for my family and I as it's my granddad's 6th year death anniversary.
I shall post a letter to him, although I know he will never be able to read it.
Unless there's a computer at wherever he is and a translator.
I doubt he can read english.
So here I go.

Dear Grandpa,
How are you? Are you enjoying life at wherever you are now?
Did you come to visit us now and then? I really miss you.
Do you know that I'm currently sleeping in the room which you left peacefully in?
Those adults always wonder why I dare to sleep in that room.
I think it's ridiculous. I feel more at ease and less lonely whenever I stay up till the morning.
However that does not mean that you should appear yea? Just saying.

Anyway, do you remember the times when you stay in the old folks home when I was younger? I always love to visit you as I could run around the home, exploring every corners. You would be enjoying the coffee and the pringles we've brought. My dad would buy food for your friend at the other bed and the adults would talk for hours. I remember standing on the steps, blowing bubbles from the bottle I had bought.

 Do you remember that on every CNY my dad and I would go to the old folks home to pick you up. I would appear with make up and two pigtails and I would be wearing the clothes I've wore to perform that morning. You would ask us about the family and I would stare at your golden tooth in amazement as you talk. We would then celebrate CNY as a family. It was always one of the happiest moments for me.

Time flies and suddenly you were diagnosed with cancer. Things became worse and you demanded for your kids to stay in my house. You slept in this very room and then, you slowly lost conscious. The thing is, I adapt to my environment very quickly. I was growing up, I was at a rebellious age. You stayed unconscious for so long that I thought you would always be there, it's just that you would continue sleeping. I was wrong.

On the 13th day of CNY, I remember walking in your room to take a book. I took a look at you and walked off. My parents had always told me that I should call you even if you were unconscious. I didn't but it did not occur to me that it would be the last time for me to see you alive. I remember going next door to play on the piano and a few minutes later, my aunt cried. You are gone.

Did you know that till today, I am still filled with regrets for not saying goodbye? I still tear every year when I recall how unfilial I was. However, nothing will bring you back.

So I hope that wherever you are, you will know that none of us have forgotten about you. I miss the days I've spent with you and I always will.

Lots of loves,
Lan Xin